1,571 days and 100 videos later

Reflecting back on an important milestone

I’ve had the itch to write lately but haven’t had many good ideas about topics. Thankfully, this morning’s release of our 100th episode of Two Sides of FI provided some inspiration. This project started just five months after I left my job as planned, to retire early - whatever that really meant, I didn’t know. I know a lot more now, yet the learning continues every day - but more on that later.

Four years, three months, and 20 days ago, in January of 2021, my good friend Eric and I released a short trailer for a YouTube channel we’d decided to launch, Two Sides of FI (2SFI). Fifty days later, our first full episode was released, one we called Our Financial Past and our FIRE Present - Two Sides of FI. I can’t recall quite what I was thinking at the time, and my decision in late 2022 to archive my old blog means it will take some effort on my part to find out. And that sounds like work, so I’ll skip it.

What I do know is that it felt like a big step, one that really involved “putting myself out there”. I’d not been open with very many people in my life about my FIRE plans prior to embarking on this next chapter for my family. Honestly, I didn’t know how to talk about it back then. I didn’t come from money, nor am I someone who enjoys outward displays of wealth. My decision at 42 years of age to buy a “nice" car (Tesla Model S) gave me a ton of pause about what it would convey given their high sticker price. Sure, I was always proud of my work and what I had achieved, but certainly didn’t talk about what I earned, which was reasonably well hidden given our long history of saving and investing well. Launching 2SFI would mean parting the curtains on some of these hidden things - that is if anyone even watched it.

It’s hard for me to watch the early episodes of the show. I’m guarded, fearful of being too vulnerable, and always seemed to want to portray a lot of confidence. These were effectively autonomic responses, not a well crafted strategy to deceive. Yeah, I’ve learned lots from therapy :) That said, thanks to the well-meaning advice of my show partner and friend of four decades, Eric, I got better over time. Along with all the technical upgrades on my side of the screen (better camera, mic, lighting, etc.), I relaxed more as time went on, and shared more openly. Talking with Eric gave me more confidence to be vulnerable about all of the “soft topics” - this was never meant to be a “financial show”, despite what some viewers want.

I don’t mean to say that sharing on the show or in “real life” was always comfortable. I had plenty of awkward exchanges online, on calls, and in person - and those are with people I knew, never mind what comes in comments on episodes. The FIRE path is anything but the most common route taken in the US, or anywhere for that matter. We are all just human, after all. Things that are unfamiliar or surprising can provoke emotional responses, even if people aren’t intentionally meaning ill or to offend. And envy is real and can definitely hurt. These exchanges were at times pretty uncomfortable, but I learned something from most of them. I also got more confident about how to handle those kinds of conversations.

I think Eric and I have done a good job staying true to our stated intentions of the channel from the very start. We merely want to share conversations we’d be having anyway, simply with the benefit of recording equipment and where needed, some editing - mostly to cut out my rambling, particularly in those early episodes! While we would never have minded if the show was financially fruitful (it isn’t), it wasn’t our stated goal for it to make a bunch of money. It has always felt good to share openly and create content for a space that seemed to lack it. Most FIRE-themed podcasts and YT channels focus on financial topics almost exclusively, and often in a lot of technical detail. We enjoyed being known for our conversations about “what X feels like”, or “what is on our minds”. Our financial topics get more views but the feedback is nearly always more positive - and meaningful - on the non-financial episodes.

But what I didn’t count on, and have continually been surprised by, is what I’ve gained personally from our little project. An honest answer would be that there have been too many benefits to exhaustively list them. I’ve had great conversations with Eric, of course. These have surely produced the largest wins for me - talking with a trusted friend who will always be honest with you and call you on your BS is priceless, most will agree. Now overlay that with the opportunity to create something meaningful together, and you’ve got gold. Plus, I’ve learned so much just hearing his viewpoints, considering his challenges to my own thoughts and plans, and being forced to confront tough topics. During our recent shared vacation we had some good conversations about this partnership. Most of that isn’t for public consumption, but let’s just say it was really great to have the chance to share openly how we feel about 2SFI and working on it together.

And there have been so many other benefits - we’ve gotten to have great conversations with others in the community, and learn from them, too. That includes some FIRE-famous people like Fritz Gilbert, Karsten Jeske, and Jordan “Doc G” Grumet, just to name a few. They were open to working together even in the earliest days of 2SFI, where we stood to really gain from an increase in views given their existing popularity. But it also includes some old friends, some new friends, as well as a few talented financial experts. It’s wild to think that other people saw what we were doing and were willing to participate in producing content with us. How cool is that?

As I’ve mentioned on the show a number of times, I’ve also been surprised how much positive energy I get out of engaging with (most of) the online community. We have a huge number of supporters among our podcast and YouTube subscriber base, Discord community, and other consumers of our content. I’ve had some great exchanges with people over the years and learned plenty. I’ve even made a few IRL friends from the show, which is totally wild and also really awesome. I’ve gotten to connect with experts of all kinds, including in the investment community. None of those exchanges would have happened without our little show as the underlying spark. And the sheer volume of positive feedback serves well to help me ignore the trolls and haters!

I can’t celebrate a milestone like this without sharing some numbers, the mere act of needing to gather them forces me to think more about the impact of 2SFI:

• 2.7 million video views

• 750 thousand podcast downloads

• 108 different countries

• nearly 30,000 YouTube subscribers

• >800 Discord members

All of that gives me a lot of pause and humbles me. While I still might think plenty about how I come across on the show, always revisiting the idea of being authentic and vulnerable, I no longer fear sharing openly as I once did - good thing, given the reach of our show, ha! Our channel may not be so large as to warrant notice by most people, but I can’t feel anything but proud about the show. It feels good to create material that I earnestly believe can be helpful to people, and I am awestruck by how far our signal travels. It blows my mind that I’ve had several people recognize me in public due to the show now, something Eric has experienced as well. We sure ain’t celebrities, but it sure feels good hearing in person that your content matters, and has helped someone in even some small way.

As always, my idea of writing a short post about what I’m thinking about has turned into a much longer endeavor than I’d planned. Shocking, right? Suffice it to say, 100 episodes later, it still feels really good to be creating content with Eric and sharing it with whoever is interested in it. This project has produced returns for me far beyond what I ever expected it would. I’m truly proud of it, and thankful for the many positive things it has brought to my life. I have no idea how long 2SFI will continue, but I’ll always be able to look back upon the body of work and remember how this felt. Hell, more people will probably remember me for this than any of my career work. Now that is a wild idea… Anyhow, it’s been a great ride, and I’m so thankful for it.

Mahalo, to each of you. Thanks for supporting my work and being here with me for the journey. I appreciate each one of you. 🙏