Whenever I call you "friend"

This morning I find myself writing under a fairly common scenario for me - I’m awake well before everyone else in the house. I’ve also not had anything like sufficient sleep, and so I’m challenging myself to be brief here and just share a few important thoughts rolling around in my head this morning before making much-needed coffee!

To state it simply, I am truly fortunate to have the several really good friends that I do. I was reminded of this just last night while out at a birthday meal with Lorri, my amazing wife of nearly 19 years, and five others. Our group included a wonderful couple (and truly special friends) who I’ve known for 32-38 years, a good friend of nearly five years, and a lovely couple who we’ve known only about a year. This was an incredibly special meal and this morning I realized that this diverse group were in fact, the perfect participants.

I’m rather nostalgic by nature and am generally loathe to let relationships slide away from me. This has led to many unproductive behaviors over time, including excessive social media monitoring and one-sided outreach in attempts to maintain connections made throughout my life. I’m absolutely guilty of feeling at times like I simply must try to hold on to relationships even when it’s clear things are not reciprocal. But more recently I feel this is changing - and for the better. At nearly 50, I’m finally learning to focus on those people most important to me and deprioritizing or shedding those who are not.

Our dinner was held in celebration of my upcoming 50th birthday. Some might elect to have a huge bash for such a milestone, gathering with many family members and friends. I’ve got nothing against that idea and indeed it sounds like a lovely way to celebrate such an “achievement”. But in talking with Lorri over recent months, it was both clear that a much smaller event was the right choice for me and that this was the group with whom I’d want to share it.

To be clear, there were a few other friends under consideration to invite and at least one other person who we’d initially hoped could attend but wasn’t able to do so. But a private moment of thought late last night helped me realize that in fact, I’d had precisely the right group of people there for this amazing evening. Yes, we’d likely have had plenty of fun if others had joined us. But it wouldn’t have been the same, nor been the ideal group for such a momentous occasion. These were people with whom I wanted to share this moment for all the right reasons.

We had a wonderful meal, shared in great conversations, and I experienced touching expressions of love from these tremendous, important people. There’s no value in attempting to share the latter in more detail here, and I don’t think it’s appropriate. Suffice it to say, I feel so very fortunate to know these lovely human beings, and I am honored to be their friend. My heart swells when I consider our special evening together and that is a truly wonderful feeling. I am better for knowing them, and so happy to have had the varying amounts of time I’ve experienced with each to date.

So here’s to whatever comes next for all of us! Today that will include a fun day of wine-related activities, a few (much more casual) meals together, and assuredly some laughs and great memories made together. I’m so glad to have these lovely humans in my life and I hope we have many more years of experiences together to come. I also hope that anyone reading this has such good friends in your own lives. I wish you all the very best in all things. Mahalo. 🙏

image credit: Photo by Helena Lopes on Unsplash